I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Last night was an exciting evening.  A bird got into the house.  I wish I could have recorded the whole ordeal.  Here's how it went down...

Kevin goes downstairs to do homework after Gunnar falls asleep.  I'm doing things upstairs when I get a text.

"Could you come downstairs please?"  
"Close all the doors"

So, I'm pretty much unsettled as I hurry and close all the doors and go downstairs.  Kevin meets me in the foyer and says something is in the house.  Something with wings.  Great.  It's either a bird or a bat, I think as the thing whizzes by my head.  It lands, bird is confirmed.  Now to get it out of the house.  We open the dining room windows, the front door and the living room windows.  We close off the kitchen.  I grab a broom.  Every time the damn thing flies by me I freak out, to my shame.  The stupid bird lands on the open window sills multiple times and doesn't fly out.  Then it lands right in the front door and doesn't fly out.  Freeman is jumping trying to grab it, I'm waving my broom, Kevin has a blanket in the air.  Then it poops on my couch.  

Now, if you know my relationship with my couch then you know what needed to happen next.  That bird had to die.  I start waving my broom with the intention to wack it (before I was trying to guide it) and running back and forth on the first floor.  Basically, I'm pissed. Finally, the damn bird gets tired and flies right out the dining room window.  We can be heard throughout the neighborhood frantically yelling "CLOSE THE WINDOW!  ITS COMING BACK!"

After 30 minutes, the drama is over.  The bird is out, Gunnar is still asleep, the poop has been cleaned up off the couch and walls (oh yes, it got my freshly painted walls).  

And the entire time, all I'm thinking is that squirrel scene in Christmas Vacation.  We had all the pieces for it...

Cheers!