Recovery: Three Months

Three months after my c-section, I think I am starting to be as normal as can be expected.  The swelling in my feet and hands is almost completely gone.  I wonder if the humidity and high temp here in Florida is the cause for this little bit sticking around...

I can fit into a lot more of my shoes, but I'm still having a hard time fitting new shoes in a size 7.  Some fit, some don't.  Before I was pregnant, I was a guaranteed size 7.  I'm still hanging onto a lot of my shoes, hoping that one day they will fit again.  I'm wearing my wedding rings again which makes me so happy.

I'm still numb around my incision.  Not sure if that will ever go away.  And every now and then I get a sharp pain there.  I guess this is all to be expected since a c-section is "major surgery".  It's funny, with everything we learned in our baby classes, the c-section was approached very nonchalantly...

I have decided that all my two piece bathing suits need to go.  I may keep one or two for nostalgia, but I don't see myself ever having the guts to wear one again.  My stretchmarks are looking much better.  The cocoa butter really does work.

Still not super regular yet, but I think I'm on the right track.  And the hemorrhoids are still a problem but only after the bathroom.  My plan is to wait until I'm done having kids and have surgery to fix them, since I doubt they will go away on their own.

The biggest obstacle for me right now is sleep deprivation.  I only get 4-5 uninterrupted hours of sleep a night and its been that way since Aug 2.  I have always needed a lot of sleep, so going this long without it has taken its toll.  I bump into things all the time, I have a short(er) temper and I forget things easily.  I'm hoping that I will learn to adjust to this new life of little sleep...

Everyone tells me I need to take care of myself.  And I totally agree.  But the problem with all that is no one has told me how to take care of myself while I take care of Gunnar.  I would love to have eaten better while on maternity leave, exercised more, put myself first more.  I just didn't, and still don't, know how to manage all of that and give Gunnar the attention I feel he needs and deserves.  So, needless to say, I have let myself go because I feel it would be selfish to focus on me when I have this little person that needs me and doesn't understand how the world works yet.  Maybe in the near future, I will be able to figure out how to be a good mommy and be good to myself too.  But right now, its an easy sacrifice for me to make.  And I will always put my family first.  Always.

This is going to be my last recovery post.  I'll be switching over to The Bear Den for all things baby related.  I hope that my journey through labor recovery has helped someone out there.  While I got a lot of information from my mom and my classes, there was still a lot that surprised me.  Every women is different and if the tips and struggles I've shared here have helped even one women, well, that's enough for me.

Cheers.

Recovery: Two Months

While Gunnar Bear has changed so much over the last two months, in my opinion, I have not.  My recovery has been slow.  I still have pains around my incision and it's still numb above it.  I stopped bleeding after about 4 weeks, so that's good.  My stomach still looks like hell.  It bothers me.  I can't wear anything that I used to wear before Gunnar, including underwear.  I had to go out and buy giant granny panties.  They are the only thing that stay up over my incision.  It is completely demoralizing.  I haven't been able to exercise because of the heat or rain.  It's just starting to cool off now, so I hope to take Gunnar on walks in the neighborhood.  When he gets a little older, I want to get a jogging stroller and complete a couch to 5K program.

Despite the fact that I really don't have time to eat, I haven't lost any more weight.  My feet are still swollen, but I can fit into more shoes.  My fall boots still don't fit which breaks my heart.  Not that I could wear them anyway since I don't fit into any jeans.

My skin is very, very slowing getting back to normal.  I have a feeling this will take a long time.  I just have to be patient.  My one pregnancy perk, thicker hair, is starting to go away too.  It's not coming out in clumps like some people have mentioned, but I can see that it isn't as full as it used to be.  I'm sad to see this go, but as soon as my hair is back to "normal", I'm getting a hair cut.  Already have it picked out and everything.

Still not as regular as I was before getting pregnant.  I think I have worked the hardest on this.  I don't have to take Miralax anymore, but I think I will be on a steady colace-a-day for a while.  I'm kinda surprised that having a baby has messed up my system this much...

I knew that having a baby would be hard on my body, but I had no idea it would damage it so completely.  I have days were I feel so ugly and not even looking at my sweet baby makes it better.  I want to start working out, and have the ok to do so from my doctor, I just don't have the time with the baby, my job, Kevin's school, the pets and this crappy Florda rental.  Plus, I wonder if it will even make a difference...

The C-Section Club

I didn't have a birth plan.  Instead, I had two things that I wanted/ didn't want to happen.  The first was I didn't want to be induced.  I was really hoping that Gunnar wouldn't go past his due date because I wanted to experience the excitement of my water breaking unexpectedly.  The second half of my birth plan involved a C-section, as in I did NOT want a C-section.  Well, I got half of my plan.  Looking back, if I had to choose just one thing, I would get the C-section over induction.  It was such an amazing moment to realize I was in labor.  That I was going to meet my baby boy.  But I digress.  This is about C-sections...

After pushing for 3.5 hours with no progress for the head placement, the midwife told me I could keep pushing or go into OR.  I tried to push a few more times but knew nothing was happening.  I was exhausted.  A C-section was the only way the whole ordeal would be over.  It was the only way I was going to see Gunnar.  What I had predicted for weeks, what I told multiple doctors about, had come true.  My pelvis was too small to birth an 8lb baby.  If anyone had bothered to listen to me, Gunnar would have been born hours before.  Instead, they had me bang his head in the birth canal for 3.5 hours.  And I was ending in a C-section anyway.  I am now a member of a another club I really never wanted to be a part of.  The C-section Club.

One of the reasons I really didn't want to have a C-section was the recovery.  I knew it would be time consuming and keep me from taking care of Gunnar as well as I could.  And that's exactly what happened.  I spent four days in the hospital trying to rest and recover from surgery and learn how to breastfeed and take care of my baby.  Breastfeeding was really difficult for me.  One of the side effects of having a C-section I later found out was that your milk production can be delayed.  Instead of my milk "coming in" a few days after Gunnar's birth, it took me almost two weeks to really notice any difference in my boobs.  In the meantime, I was starving my baby.  So, take note, if you decide to breastfeed and have a C-section, your milk may take a couple weeks to come in.  Not the days that all the nurses and lactation consultants tell you.  I didn't find this information out until the fourth visit to the pediatrician...

I got an epidural while I was in labor at the hospital.  That meant that I was laying in bed for hours.  My legs went completely numb.  I couldn't go to the bathroom, so I had a catheter.  They were also pumping me full of fluids like you wouldn't believe.  All that fluid collected in my legs.  I was peeing stuff out, but I was collecting most of it.  My legs were so swollen when I got home, you couldn't find my knees at all.  And I have very knobby knees.  A couple days after being home, I realized that I was actually swollen up to my waist.  The nurses that came to the house said the only thing to do was pee it all out.  I know there is a pill that helps with that, but they refused to give it to me.  Three weeks later and my legs looked almost normal.  My feet were still swollen, but I could bend my leg more than 45 degrees.  A huge improvement.  So, if you have super swollen legs after a C-section, drink lots of water.  So much water you're floating.  And be patient.  It will be tough, but the swelling will go away, just not as fast as you need it to to take care of your newborn. 

Another fun side effect from the C-section?  Constipation.  I've heard that this can be a side effect of a vaginal birth too.  I didn't have a bowel movement for 7 days.  Part of that was because it was so uncomfortable to go to the bathroom period.  My swollen legs and extremely short toilet made the situation a nightmare.  I couldn't imagine staying in that position for any length of time in order to produce the all important bowel movement.  To help with this situation, I highly recommend Miralax.  And not the no-name brand you can get from Target or Walmart.  I tried that stuff for 3 days and nothing.  I get the Miralax, and I'm taking care of business that night.  So, do yourself a favor and splurge on the name brand.  Trust me.  And start taking colace in the hospital.  Both these things will help.  And of course, you need more patience.  Cuz the last thing you want to do is push or strain with that lovely incision.  And if you have the swollen legs too, I suggest you invest in one of those toilet seats that are five inches high.  You don't need to be bending down and hurting since everything else hurts.  They make padded ones too...

As for that lovely incision you now have?  I would suggest getting an abdominal band to help with it.  They sell "post-pardem" bands at Babies R Us.  I'm sure you can find them at a medical supply store too.  I used my Bellyband until I got to the store to buy the heavy duty one.  The band helps with not keeping your sagging belly tight.  It might feel like your guts are going to fall out after you get home.  This will help with that.  And it might help get your tummy back to pre-baby firmness, whatever that was for you.  Don't worry.  I asked my doctor if wearing the band was okay, he said yes and actually strongly encouraged me to get one.  That incision is going to be an issue for a few weeks.  I got frustrated with mine because it made holding Gunnar, breastfeeding, laughing, sneezing, coughing, pooping, and getting up and out of bed difficult.  I had to sleep on the couch for a couple weeks because it was easier to get up and take care of Gunnar.  The skin above the incision is numb, not sure if I will ever feel there again.  And since its so low, my baby weight hangs over it and it looks like a dent.  I cried multiple times after I got home just looking at it.  I know that I'll never be the same again, but it will take some getting used to my new body.  Thankfully, Gunnar makes me realize that my new battle scar is totally worth it.

Stock up on pads before or soon after you get home.  Even though it wasn't a vaginal birth, you bleed.  And it will last weeks.  I suggest the extra long size and plenty of them.  Its been a few weeks since my C-section and I'm still bleeding.  Not as much as the first week, but enough to still need some protection.  

When you are at the hospital, they will give you a peri bottle to wash yourself with after you go to the bathroom.  Take this bottle home with you.  They are just going to throw it away, so don't feel guilty.  It will come in handy the next few days.  And you will also get to wear some fabulous mesh panties while in the hospital.  Well, they are more like mesh hot pants.  They're nice because they go up high and above the incision.  Take as many of these panties home as they will give you.  They are washable and will save your life.  They saved mine.

After all the crap you go through because of the C-section, the hardest part for me is the knowing that every child after this will probably be a C-section as well.  I will never have the excitement of pushing out a baby, of doing things the way nature intended.  Its bittersweet.  Some people will say that you can VBAC.  But some hospitals won't even consider it, like the one I was at.  There are pluses and minuses to this.  I won't have to agonize in labor for an undetermined amount of hours.  I'll know what to expect next time.  I just can't help but feel like I've been cheated out of some womenly moment.  While I'm in the Mommy Club, I don't get that badge of war that is childbirth.  I get the C badge.

So, to recap, here's a quick list of things you might want to get before you go in for a C-section:

1. Granny panties or steal those mesh panties from the hospital

2. Peri bottle (also steal from the hospital)

3. Large, extra long pads.  Lots of them.

4. Miralax and colace

5. Abdominal band like this one:
 
                                        

You can them from Babies R Us, or online here.  Or, you can try some shape wear briefs.  These actually worked better for me than the band.

6.  Lots of liquids for swelling.

7.  A toilet seat riser

                                         
You can different kinds from Walmart and Walgreens for less than $30.  You will definitely want to make the investment.

**These are my personal thoughts and opinions.  You can take them or leave them.  They're out there to help other women.  Or to make them think.**