Twins

My mom sent me a picture of me as a baby.  It's my first picture, the one they take in the hospital.  She did a side-by-side comparison of me and Gunnar using one of his hospital pics.  People were saying he looks like me but damn...

Cheers!

One Month

I can't believe my little Gunnar Bear is one month old already!  They weren't kidding when they said the time flies by!  I'm a little late with this post, but that's because my little man keeps me on my toes.  The new luxuries in my life are being able to take a shower, getting 5 hrs of uninterrupted sleep and being able to go the bathroom or eat a meal without rushing.  But it's all worth it when I look at this little face.  :)  It also took me a while to decide how I wanted to do Gunnar's month-to-month pics.  This is the Instagram one.  I have a couple other ideas that I'm deciding on with the big camera.

Here are some things about our Gunnar Bear at one month:

- He has the softest skin

- Blue eyes, so far...

- Great at burping.  Takes less than a minute to get a good burp, which is good because I was nervous about this task 

- Loves to snuggle.  Almost too much.  He likes to be in almost constant contact which makes it hard to do anything

-Hates getting a diaper or onesie change

-When he gets mad, he gets really mad.  Like beet red, holding his breathe angry.

-He's smiling.  Almost.  I know any day now I'll get a smile that he means.

-He's really good at tummy time.  He's been holding his head up for a few seconds since two weeks

-Still working on how to use a paci.  He sucks so hard he shoots it out of his mouth.  It's kinda funny

-Likes to look at the pictures on the walls

-Falls asleep during car rides (just like his mama) 

-Quite a strong grip and a pretty powerful kick for someone his size 

-His nails grow super fast and are hard to file/ clip

-He's eaten out twice and has had a bunch of visitors.  Everyone loves him and says he's the cutest baby.

-Has, about, three songs written for him.  :)

Cheers!

Gunnargram

The C-Section Club

I didn't have a birth plan.  Instead, I had two things that I wanted/ didn't want to happen.  The first was I didn't want to be induced.  I was really hoping that Gunnar wouldn't go past his due date because I wanted to experience the excitement of my water breaking unexpectedly.  The second half of my birth plan involved a C-section, as in I did NOT want a C-section.  Well, I got half of my plan.  Looking back, if I had to choose just one thing, I would get the C-section over induction.  It was such an amazing moment to realize I was in labor.  That I was going to meet my baby boy.  But I digress.  This is about C-sections...

After pushing for 3.5 hours with no progress for the head placement, the midwife told me I could keep pushing or go into OR.  I tried to push a few more times but knew nothing was happening.  I was exhausted.  A C-section was the only way the whole ordeal would be over.  It was the only way I was going to see Gunnar.  What I had predicted for weeks, what I told multiple doctors about, had come true.  My pelvis was too small to birth an 8lb baby.  If anyone had bothered to listen to me, Gunnar would have been born hours before.  Instead, they had me bang his head in the birth canal for 3.5 hours.  And I was ending in a C-section anyway.  I am now a member of a another club I really never wanted to be a part of.  The C-section Club.

One of the reasons I really didn't want to have a C-section was the recovery.  I knew it would be time consuming and keep me from taking care of Gunnar as well as I could.  And that's exactly what happened.  I spent four days in the hospital trying to rest and recover from surgery and learn how to breastfeed and take care of my baby.  Breastfeeding was really difficult for me.  One of the side effects of having a C-section I later found out was that your milk production can be delayed.  Instead of my milk "coming in" a few days after Gunnar's birth, it took me almost two weeks to really notice any difference in my boobs.  In the meantime, I was starving my baby.  So, take note, if you decide to breastfeed and have a C-section, your milk may take a couple weeks to come in.  Not the days that all the nurses and lactation consultants tell you.  I didn't find this information out until the fourth visit to the pediatrician...

I got an epidural while I was in labor at the hospital.  That meant that I was laying in bed for hours.  My legs went completely numb.  I couldn't go to the bathroom, so I had a catheter.  They were also pumping me full of fluids like you wouldn't believe.  All that fluid collected in my legs.  I was peeing stuff out, but I was collecting most of it.  My legs were so swollen when I got home, you couldn't find my knees at all.  And I have very knobby knees.  A couple days after being home, I realized that I was actually swollen up to my waist.  The nurses that came to the house said the only thing to do was pee it all out.  I know there is a pill that helps with that, but they refused to give it to me.  Three weeks later and my legs looked almost normal.  My feet were still swollen, but I could bend my leg more than 45 degrees.  A huge improvement.  So, if you have super swollen legs after a C-section, drink lots of water.  So much water you're floating.  And be patient.  It will be tough, but the swelling will go away, just not as fast as you need it to to take care of your newborn. 

Another fun side effect from the C-section?  Constipation.  I've heard that this can be a side effect of a vaginal birth too.  I didn't have a bowel movement for 7 days.  Part of that was because it was so uncomfortable to go to the bathroom period.  My swollen legs and extremely short toilet made the situation a nightmare.  I couldn't imagine staying in that position for any length of time in order to produce the all important bowel movement.  To help with this situation, I highly recommend Miralax.  And not the no-name brand you can get from Target or Walmart.  I tried that stuff for 3 days and nothing.  I get the Miralax, and I'm taking care of business that night.  So, do yourself a favor and splurge on the name brand.  Trust me.  And start taking colace in the hospital.  Both these things will help.  And of course, you need more patience.  Cuz the last thing you want to do is push or strain with that lovely incision.  And if you have the swollen legs too, I suggest you invest in one of those toilet seats that are five inches high.  You don't need to be bending down and hurting since everything else hurts.  They make padded ones too...

As for that lovely incision you now have?  I would suggest getting an abdominal band to help with it.  They sell "post-pardem" bands at Babies R Us.  I'm sure you can find them at a medical supply store too.  I used my Bellyband until I got to the store to buy the heavy duty one.  The band helps with not keeping your sagging belly tight.  It might feel like your guts are going to fall out after you get home.  This will help with that.  And it might help get your tummy back to pre-baby firmness, whatever that was for you.  Don't worry.  I asked my doctor if wearing the band was okay, he said yes and actually strongly encouraged me to get one.  That incision is going to be an issue for a few weeks.  I got frustrated with mine because it made holding Gunnar, breastfeeding, laughing, sneezing, coughing, pooping, and getting up and out of bed difficult.  I had to sleep on the couch for a couple weeks because it was easier to get up and take care of Gunnar.  The skin above the incision is numb, not sure if I will ever feel there again.  And since its so low, my baby weight hangs over it and it looks like a dent.  I cried multiple times after I got home just looking at it.  I know that I'll never be the same again, but it will take some getting used to my new body.  Thankfully, Gunnar makes me realize that my new battle scar is totally worth it.

Stock up on pads before or soon after you get home.  Even though it wasn't a vaginal birth, you bleed.  And it will last weeks.  I suggest the extra long size and plenty of them.  Its been a few weeks since my C-section and I'm still bleeding.  Not as much as the first week, but enough to still need some protection.  

When you are at the hospital, they will give you a peri bottle to wash yourself with after you go to the bathroom.  Take this bottle home with you.  They are just going to throw it away, so don't feel guilty.  It will come in handy the next few days.  And you will also get to wear some fabulous mesh panties while in the hospital.  Well, they are more like mesh hot pants.  They're nice because they go up high and above the incision.  Take as many of these panties home as they will give you.  They are washable and will save your life.  They saved mine.

After all the crap you go through because of the C-section, the hardest part for me is the knowing that every child after this will probably be a C-section as well.  I will never have the excitement of pushing out a baby, of doing things the way nature intended.  Its bittersweet.  Some people will say that you can VBAC.  But some hospitals won't even consider it, like the one I was at.  There are pluses and minuses to this.  I won't have to agonize in labor for an undetermined amount of hours.  I'll know what to expect next time.  I just can't help but feel like I've been cheated out of some womenly moment.  While I'm in the Mommy Club, I don't get that badge of war that is childbirth.  I get the C badge.

So, to recap, here's a quick list of things you might want to get before you go in for a C-section:

1. Granny panties or steal those mesh panties from the hospital

2. Peri bottle (also steal from the hospital)

3. Large, extra long pads.  Lots of them.

4. Miralax and colace

5. Abdominal band like this one:
 
                                        

You can them from Babies R Us, or online here.  Or, you can try some shape wear briefs.  These actually worked better for me than the band.

6.  Lots of liquids for swelling.

7.  A toilet seat riser

                                         
You can different kinds from Walmart and Walgreens for less than $30.  You will definitely want to make the investment.

**These are my personal thoughts and opinions.  You can take them or leave them.  They're out there to help other women.  Or to make them think.**

Gunnargram

Faux pas

My fingers are still slightly swollen.  Not sure if it's because of the c-section or heat any more.  Either way, I can't fit into my wedding rings yet, which really bothers me.  I cried when I had to take them off during pregnancy and I have anxiously been waiting to put them back on.  I like letting the world know I'm married.  So, I went to Target and bought a fake ring to wear in the mean time.  I decided to go with something completely different than my real ring (and it was the only one they had that fit).  I still like my rings better, but this will do until they fit again, hopefully soon...

Cheers!