Bump Diaries 2.14

2/13/14
Officially in my second trimester!  They say this is when things start to feel better.  The nausea goes away, you have more energy, you glow, etc.  I don't feel that.  Any of it.  I'm still nauseous but not as often and I still have some tenderness in my boobs.  And sleeping is getting more difficult each night.  I hope that things will start to look up for me, but I guess if they don't, that's ok too.

We decided to tell our parents the day after our heartbeat appointment.  I still didn't want to but Kevin said he couldn't wait any longer.  And maybe it would help me not worry so much if I could see how happy everyone else was.  The thing about keeping a big secret for so long is, you get used to it.  I kinda liked having this information that no one else knew.  It was fun to talk to my friends about all these other people having babies being the only one knowing I was three months pregnant.  A part of me didn't want to share the news.  I was terrified of the possibility of having to have the conversation of something bad happening to the baby with my family.  If I didn't tell them I was pregnant, then I didn't have to tell them that I wasn't any more.  But it wasn't fair to Kevin who had waited patiently for the sound of a heartbeat to be able to tell our parents.  So I went first.  And started with my mom.  It didn't go like I wanted.  She didn't really act surprised and said "I kinda figured you were".  I was hurt that there wasn't immediate excitement when I told her.  It was like when I told her I got engaged and she was on painkillers for a root canal and didn't remember our conversation.  Needless to say, I was bummed.  She did cry, though, when I called her busia (polish for grandma) and that made me feel a little better.  Then I called my dad.  It took me longer to come out and say it and it wasn't any better than when I told my mom.  My dad started clearing his throat, a lot, and said that he had to go.  I asked if he was happy and he said he was surprised and a little scared.  That he felt the same way he did when my mom told him she was pregnant.  It was a short conversation after that.  Again, not what I was expecting or hoping for.  I tried my aunt next but she didn't answer so I told Kevin to call his parents.  When he FINALLY got around to telling them, it was more of the same lack of excitement.  At this point I was done.  I started crying and said that I wished we hadn't said anything.  That the next baby they would find out about when it got here.  Needless to say, it was a rough night.

2/14/14
Valentine's Day.  I had a great gift for Kevin.  I found a plain white frame and wrote "I love you already, Daddy!" on the bottom and put one of the ultrasound pictures in it.  I thought it would be nice for him to have it on his desk and brag.  He is so happy and Daddys-to-be don't usually get a lot of attention.  And he got chocolate of course.  We also told the people we worked with today.  My team reacted with more of the same "excitement" that I had gotten with our families.  Plus, I think they were secretly mad about it.  The surprise that people seem to be having with our news is puzzling to me.  I am 32 years old and have been married for almost 4 years.  I've been ready for a baby for two years.  And we have been "trying" for two years.  The shock/ surprise people claim seems like they have not been paying attention.  But, it was out in the open now.  Only a few more people to tell then we could go Facebook public with our news.

2/15/14
While Kevin was visiting his parents in Fort Meyers, I took my first steps into maternity clothing.  I went to Burlington Coat Factory to see if I could find some jeans to wear.  I am currently down to about four pairs that I can still wear and I have two pairs of leggings.  I tried on a pair of skinny jeans and looked in the mirror.  They looked nice.  They "fit".  But I just stared.  How are maternity pants supposed to fit anyway?

2/16/14
We went to the beach today to take the picture I want to use to announce my pregnancy.  It took a while to set everything up in the sand.  The  waves were fighting me.  I think we ended up getting a good shot to use.  People had to ask questions every time they passed.  Nosy.  Kevin's photography coworker thinks that we can edit the pic to make it work for us.  

2/19/14
I tried the BellyBand today.  Not sure I did it right.  I wore it under a white tank.  I didn't like how you could see it under the tank so clearly so I folded it over.  Then it was too tight on my belly.  It didn't really keep my pants up any better than my hair tie trick.  I ended up taking it off in the middle of the lab.  Lol.