Bump Diaries: 2.18

This week was pretty emotional.  I got some good news and then, on the same day, I got some really sad/scary news.  The good news was that my test results from the quad screen came back negative, so yay!  One hurdle cleared.  I was finally in a somewhat good place.  Still nervous, but I decided that I was tired of being ruled by it.  So, when Kevin came home, we were going to finally put our beach picture announcement on Facebook, Instagram and this blog.  But before Kevin could get home, I received some news that put all of those plans on hold.  I got concerned all over again for our baby and was afraid to say anything for fear of having to have to tell the worst.  So, we waited.  Again.  But after a couple days, I decided that I had every right to be excited about my baby and my good news.  And a coworker of mine told me that the baby can feel everything, so I wanted to make sure that our baby felt how much we already loved it, how I prayed to have it and how truly excited I was to be it's mom.  So, we decided to do the big announcement in stages.  The first was here.  I absolutely love the picture that we took.  Kevin's photographer coworker tweaked it for us and I love how it turned out.  It's simple and says a lot about us right now. 

I still feel aches and pains every day, which always makes me worry, but I try not to let it get out of control.  There is no hiding my bump now.  It sticks out more in some clothes than others.  If I have to conceal it, I can.  I use cocoa butter every day.  I sleep on eight pillows at night and I still can't get comfortable.  I know it's only going to get worse from here on out.  Kevin looks at my belly more and more now.  And he even rubs it and says hi to the baby.  It calms me down. 

I am tracking down more and more inexpensive maternity clothes.  The trick that I was using to keep my old pants up hurts my belly now and I don't have tops long enough to cover the open zipper.  And they just weren't flattering any more which isn't good for your pregnant self confidence.  

Bump Diaries 2.17

The first day of my 17th week I went back to the doctor.  They did a blood draw for some chromosome screenings.  It's probably the scariest visit so far.  Its not like I don't worry about things pretty much every day.  I guess this is better because at least its some answers.  But the wait is going to kill me.  I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again.  Holding at 160bpm.   I think it's a girl.  :)  But if it's a boy, we have two great names ready to go.  I also made my next doctors appointment which will be the ultrasound that tells us the sex.  I am so excited.  It will be hard to wait.

I also got my first pair of maternity jeans.  I really needed a pair of pants.  I was down to three pair of normal jeans and a pair of leggings.  And the jeans were always falling off my butt.  I found a pair of cute jeans from Burlington for $19.  I'm hoping that they will last a good chunk of my pregnancy.

I've had different types of aches and pains for the last few days.  The doctor told me it seemed normal.  That my uterus and body are stretching to make room for the growing baby.  I was told to pay attention for any cramping that felt like menstrual cramps or pain that didn't go away or was progressive.  I'm still not sure what all that means.  The best way to explain the pain I feel is like I was running to much and got a stitch in my side.  It doesn't last for more than a couple seconds and it switches from side to side.  I don't get nauseous any more unless I wait too long to eat or get up set.  I'm trying to not get upset by stuff, but that's like changing my whole personality.  It's a process.  I've also hit the gas-y part of my pregnancy, which adds another variable to the pains I feel.  

I received a package from Dad and Nancy this week.  They filled it with a bunch of baby stuff.  Some things I registered for and some things they just got me cuz they liked it.  It was a really sweet package.  They even managed to tracked down the train I used to have as a baby that went on my crib from ebay.  It made me cry.  I don't have a lot from when I was little, but I do remember that train, a barking dog that my Grampa Jablonski got me, some ceramic book ends and Le Mutt (which I have in my bedroom now and will move to the nursery when it is finished).  I'm pretty sure I saved the dog and book ends, I just need to find them...  I have this feeling that they are dying to buy more baby stuff, they are just waiting to find out what I'm having.  Dad keeps asking me, "when do you find out"  and "is it time yet?"  

I went to Miami for a night too.  My friend Lo was in town for work so I thought it would be cool to visit her for the night.  The trip didn't go at all liked I planned but it was interesting to see the city and visit with Lo.  She's the first friend to see my bump, which is unmistakable now.

Since my belly really started to show this week, I have become more excited.  I still struggle with clothes, I don't think I'm at the stage where you can wear tight things and show off an obvious bump, but I'm getting close.

The last day of week 17 I got my quad screen results back.  All negative.  Which is good.  I thought this would make me feel finally relaxed, but it doesn't.  I do feel a little better, and I think I am finally ready to go Facebook public with this, but I don't think I will relax until I see the baby again in an ultrasound. 

28 Weeks

Made it to 28 weeks!  This is a big deal.  It means that if there is a problem, and the baby has to be born, it stands a chance of survival.  All major development is done, now he's just getting some padding and finalizing so he can make his debut in August!  I feel pretty good now, but I see the rough road coming up really soon.  I think I'm about to enter that "I'm sick-of-being-pregnant-cranky-all-the-time" phase known as the third trimester.  :)

Non-maternity top, The Limited, old.  Maternity jeans, JCP, $28.

Cheers!

Bump Diaries 2.16

I'm happy to say that my 16th week of being pregnant, I seem to be getting the hang of it.  On the first day, I received a package from my aunt that contained two children's books.  The Little Golden book is perfect for our little Florida water baby.  It also captures the look for the nursery I have been dreaming up.  It is really easy to fall into the whole "beach look" when you live on the coast.  I mean, it's not like I have to look far for a ton of decorations.  But, while I like that whole look, I feel it's a cop out for our nursery.  And I'm also not a big fan of themed nurseries.  I like the themes that people come up with, don't get me wrong, it's just not the look I ever imagined for our baby.  

I tried that belly band again and it was, again, a huge fail.  I'm so glad that I didn't buy the expensive one.  Not sure what I will do with it now, but I'm creative so we'll see.

I finally broke down and made my first big maternity clothes purchase from Old Navy.  They had a sale going on and they offered an extra 35% off to card holders.  I have a list in my head of maternity clothes I will definitely need to make it through this pregnancy, so I started checking them off.  I got some simple tees for layering and work, two casual dresses I think will be great to live in as the temperature gets warmer, and a dress I might wear to a baby shower.  I also "splurged" and got a pretty top I'm sure I won't be able to wear after the pregnancy and a nautical tank, cuz, you know, it's Florida.  :)  Now I just need some jeans, another pair of leggings and two tank tops and I'm done.  I also might get a really pretty dress for taking professional maternity pics.  I already know what I want them to look like (thank you Pinterest).

More people at work are slowly finding out.  I'm still not sure how my boss feels about everything yet, but so far, things in the lab have been business as usual.  I guess only time will tell.  I am trying to have faith that everything will work out for us.  After all, God waited until now to give us a baby.  There must be a plan.

My mom bought and sent us a crib.  I was shocked when I got home on Friday and it was sitting on the front porch.  Kinda soon for a crib but at least it's the one we registered for.  

I'm feeling lots of pinches and cramps everyday.  They all seem to be in a different place.  They don't last very long, but they wear me down.  I don't sleep very well too.  It's hard for me to get comfortable.  I think I will have to break down and buy one of those support pillows.  I tried to make one with pillows I have, but it just doesn't work.  I'm trying to train my self to be a side sleeper because I know I am running out of time for sleeping on my back, but every night I wake up looking at the ceiling.  I'm getting a little worried about it...

Still using the cocoa butter every day on my belly, which is really sticking out now.  I'm trying to eat healthy, but it's hard with my schedule.  I can't eat in the lab so I have to keep wrapped snakes in my drawer.  That limits me to granola bars and crackers.  Sometimes, I get a piece of fruit in there.  Lunches are good though.  we've been pretty good about bringing our lunches to work.  I just get paranoid that I'm not heating the leftovers up enough in the microwave.

Finally got a chance to tell my friends Kiki and Lo about being pregnant.  They were the last two people I wanted to tell in person.  Lo has chosen to call the fetus Pearl, which I like and wish I thought of.  Adding that to Doughnut, which is what my BFF Kimmy calls it, this kid is already on it's way to having as many nicknames as their mama.  

All in all, I am getting more relaxed and excited every day.  I still worry about things, pretty much every day, but I am trying not to let that take away from this experience.  

It's a process.        

Bump Diaries 2.15

After the very hectic week 14, I was hoping to have things calm down.  Since my weeks of pregnancy change close to the weekend, I was hoping to get a good belly pic finally.  I have one pic so far at 13 weeks, but I took it in the bathroom at work.  Since I have been very slowly feeling better, I was hoping to go out somewhere pretty and get my shot.  We decided to go to a park that was pretty close to our house.  The nature trail went through what looked liked a jungle.  It was pretty cool.  I think we got a nice picture, but to be honest, I just look fat in it.  I'm still wearing my "fat" clothes as maternity clothes.  I think once I start to wear things that actually show off my bump, I'll look cuter.  I am getting more excited about things now.  I am looking at more maternity sites and getting ideas for a nursery.  I found some cute prints to order that fit my theme.

They say that this is the part of pregnancy that you look the best.  Your hair is supposed to get thicker and shinier.  Your skin "glows".  I don't feel any of that.  My skin looks dull and broken out.  I am trying to find SOMETHING that I can use to get it under control.  I don't think my hair feels any thicker but I think it might be a little shinier.  Nothing drastic though.  I'm hoping that this nice part of pregnancy kicks in for me soon.  I have felt more energy.  I don't fall asleep at 6:30 any more when I get home.  I get little aches and pains almost everyday, but nothing that lasts for more than a minute.  I feel like my body is tight and trying to stretch.  I worry constantly if the baby is okay.  Am I eating the right stuff?  Did I over exert myself at work and hurt the baby?  Did I get too stressed out or angry about something and do something to the baby?  I think that's the biggest thing for me to control.  I am a very emotional and passionate person.  I feel almost all emotions deeply.  I can't seem to turn it off.  And pregnancy hasn't helped that.  I feel guilty immediately after.  This is going to be my biggest struggle as I continue this pregnancy.

Happy Mother's Day!

Love,
The Kendi Haus

Bump Diaries 2.14

2/13/14
Officially in my second trimester!  They say this is when things start to feel better.  The nausea goes away, you have more energy, you glow, etc.  I don't feel that.  Any of it.  I'm still nauseous but not as often and I still have some tenderness in my boobs.  And sleeping is getting more difficult each night.  I hope that things will start to look up for me, but I guess if they don't, that's ok too.

We decided to tell our parents the day after our heartbeat appointment.  I still didn't want to but Kevin said he couldn't wait any longer.  And maybe it would help me not worry so much if I could see how happy everyone else was.  The thing about keeping a big secret for so long is, you get used to it.  I kinda liked having this information that no one else knew.  It was fun to talk to my friends about all these other people having babies being the only one knowing I was three months pregnant.  A part of me didn't want to share the news.  I was terrified of the possibility of having to have the conversation of something bad happening to the baby with my family.  If I didn't tell them I was pregnant, then I didn't have to tell them that I wasn't any more.  But it wasn't fair to Kevin who had waited patiently for the sound of a heartbeat to be able to tell our parents.  So I went first.  And started with my mom.  It didn't go like I wanted.  She didn't really act surprised and said "I kinda figured you were".  I was hurt that there wasn't immediate excitement when I told her.  It was like when I told her I got engaged and she was on painkillers for a root canal and didn't remember our conversation.  Needless to say, I was bummed.  She did cry, though, when I called her busia (polish for grandma) and that made me feel a little better.  Then I called my dad.  It took me longer to come out and say it and it wasn't any better than when I told my mom.  My dad started clearing his throat, a lot, and said that he had to go.  I asked if he was happy and he said he was surprised and a little scared.  That he felt the same way he did when my mom told him she was pregnant.  It was a short conversation after that.  Again, not what I was expecting or hoping for.  I tried my aunt next but she didn't answer so I told Kevin to call his parents.  When he FINALLY got around to telling them, it was more of the same lack of excitement.  At this point I was done.  I started crying and said that I wished we hadn't said anything.  That the next baby they would find out about when it got here.  Needless to say, it was a rough night.

2/14/14
Valentine's Day.  I had a great gift for Kevin.  I found a plain white frame and wrote "I love you already, Daddy!" on the bottom and put one of the ultrasound pictures in it.  I thought it would be nice for him to have it on his desk and brag.  He is so happy and Daddys-to-be don't usually get a lot of attention.  And he got chocolate of course.  We also told the people we worked with today.  My team reacted with more of the same "excitement" that I had gotten with our families.  Plus, I think they were secretly mad about it.  The surprise that people seem to be having with our news is puzzling to me.  I am 32 years old and have been married for almost 4 years.  I've been ready for a baby for two years.  And we have been "trying" for two years.  The shock/ surprise people claim seems like they have not been paying attention.  But, it was out in the open now.  Only a few more people to tell then we could go Facebook public with our news.

2/15/14
While Kevin was visiting his parents in Fort Meyers, I took my first steps into maternity clothing.  I went to Burlington Coat Factory to see if I could find some jeans to wear.  I am currently down to about four pairs that I can still wear and I have two pairs of leggings.  I tried on a pair of skinny jeans and looked in the mirror.  They looked nice.  They "fit".  But I just stared.  How are maternity pants supposed to fit anyway?

2/16/14
We went to the beach today to take the picture I want to use to announce my pregnancy.  It took a while to set everything up in the sand.  The  waves were fighting me.  I think we ended up getting a good shot to use.  People had to ask questions every time they passed.  Nosy.  Kevin's photography coworker thinks that we can edit the pic to make it work for us.  

2/19/14
I tried the BellyBand today.  Not sure I did it right.  I wore it under a white tank.  I didn't like how you could see it under the tank so clearly so I folded it over.  Then it was too tight on my belly.  It didn't really keep my pants up any better than my hair tie trick.  I ended up taking it off in the middle of the lab.  Lol.  

25 Weeks

Still feeling good.  Little Man moves around a lot now.  Getting harder to maneuver these days...

I wasn't going to take a bump pic this week, but I really liked my outfit.  :)

Non maternity top from Chico's (old), maternity jeans from JCP online ($28).

Cheers!

Bump Diaries 1.13

02/09/14
Still nauseous.  Still exhausted.  Bad skin, bad hair.  And now I can add fat to the list.  I look six months pregnant when I'm really only three.  I don't think I should be showing this soon, which leads me to believe that I have over eaten trying to keep my nausea under control.  So, I'd have to say that my "bump" is 80% over indulgence and 20% actual pregnancy.  Which doesn't put me in the best mood.  At first I was so excited to dress a baby bump.  I had so many ideas.  I saved clothes from my 20 lbs weight loss the summer of 2012 in the hopes of using them for a pregnancy and saving money. Now I'm just depressed.  We tried to take my first bump picture today.  That was a disaster.  The house we currently rent sucks on so many levels and the latest one is lighting.  We don't get any.  Natural or artificial.  It's due to the few windows we have, their placement, the angle of the house and the fact that there is NO overhead lighting in the house.  It really blows.  Most of my pregnancy will be in this house and it has now cheated me out of the fun belly pics I was looking forward to.  Not that I would look good in them anyway.  This organic shampoo does nothing for my hair.  It is stringy and limp and flat.  And I have no idea how to cut it.  I really don't know how to do anything with it.  It just sucks.  I want to be able to document this process to look back on but I don't think that will happen.  I'm afraid this will continue when the baby comes too.  I take a lot of pics of Kevin and I feel his life will be remembered.  And they are good pics too.  I can't say the same for me.  When my memory starts to go, I want to be able to look back at pictures.  So where will mine be?  Kevin doesn't take any of me, and the few he does manage to take I look like poop in.  It sucks.  I guess I've reached that downer part of pregnancy.  I hope that my appointment this week will be better. 

02/10/14
I  took my first bump pic today at work in the bathroom.  It's not fabulous by any means, but I liked the shirt that I wore and I liked my hair.  I hope that I will figure out better bump pics in the future.

02/11/14
Appointment day!  Finally.  There was so much drama at work due to a late sample that I think I was almost outed myself about being pregnant.  Instead, I got to teach the other girl that I work with that it's not my job to always be the one to stay late.  I'm looking forward to her reaction when I finally tell my team that I'm pregnant...

It was a quick appointment today.  I got to see the midwife that I like.  I am thinking that I would like her to deliver our little bean when the time comes.  My appointment pretty much when like this:  pee in the cup, get weighed, blood pressure, go into the room and wait.  When the midwife came in, she asked me how I was feeling.  I told her good, that nothing had really changed.  I asked if there was something I could do about my horrible skin and she recommended Neutragena products.  Then she said "we got a lot of info from you from your first visit, so this one will be kinda boring. "  I was kinda disappointed.  I had waited so long for this appointment and I needed some sign that the baby was ok.  Then she said, "but we'll listen for the heartbeat and that's exciting".  Ok.  Here we go.  The moment I had been waiting for.  We saw a heartbeat of 166 bpm at 7.5 weeks.  What would be there today?  She went on to do the whole don't-get-nervous-if-I-don't-find-it-right-away speal.  I was already nervous, nothing was going to change that.  She pushed my shirt up, squirted some gel on my tummy and took the Doppler wand and started moving around.  I heard what sounded like riding in my Jeep on the freeway with the windows out.  Really loud, but not significant.  Then a few seconds later, there it was.  My baby's heartbeat.  The little one was still there, and going strong at 160 bpm.  I asked why it had slowed down and she told me that it would slow down even more as I got more pregnant.  Nothing to worry about.  Kevin was smiling so big.  I...am not sure what I felt.  I thought that I would cry, but I didn't.  Instead, the pesky scientist in me kicked in and I was fascinated.  A heartbeat that isn't mine inside my body?  Strange.  I started thinking about all the other strange things that were probably happening in my body that I couldn't see.  Kevin was kinda disappointed that I wasn't more excited, but I was in my own way.  I'm still really nervous about losing this baby.  Not sure when that will go away, but I hope it's soon.  I've chosen to have the quad screening done for possible genetic diseases.  This will happen at my next appointment.  I think if that test goes well, then I may be able to relax.  I spent almost a year testing people for various genetic disorders so I am well aware of all the things that are out there.  

I left the doctor's office feeling relieved about the heartbeat, but nervous about the next step.  I think this is how it's going to be until this little bean comes out. 

Kendi Haus TV

We've become completely obsessed with Supernatural.  I know we are a little late with this one, but that is a damn good show.  I like shows where the actors don't seem like they are acting, and the two guys that head the show are very natural.  It's just a good time.  It took Kevin a couple seasons to get into it, but we're on season 4 now and he's hooked.  I love when I get him sucked into one of my CW shows.  :)

We also joined the rest of the country with Game of Thrones.  That show is so addictive.  I don't read the books so I have to wait each episode to see what happens.  I have my favorite characters and I was warned a couple years ago not to fall in love with anyone.  The author has no problem killing people off.  Basically, no one is safe.  I guess that's what makes it so addictive, not knowing who is going to die next.  And the music and scenery are fantastic.

This past season, the CW started a spin off of The Vampire Diaries called The Originals.  It's fantastic.  I don't even watch The Vampire Diaries anymore because The Originals is so much better.  Haven't hooked Kevin on this one yet, but I know he's paying attention when I watch an episode now and then.  :)

Cheers!

Bump Diaries 1.12

Made it to twelve weeks.  They say that if you get this far the chances of miscarriage decrease greatly.  I'm glad to have reached 12 weeks, but I'm not in that joyful pregnancy stage yet.  I'm still very worried about things.  Normally, you would go into your OBGYN and get your first ultrasound around 12 weeks.  Since I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks, they pushed my next appointment back.  I'll be going in again at almost 14 weeks.  The wait is killing me.  I want to know what's going on in there so badly.  I feel that if I can just hear the heartbeat, it will be proof that everything is going well and I can finally relax.  I'm kinda irritated that I'm not on the typical schedule for pregnant ladies.  I don't see why I have to wait longer just because I had an ultrasound earlier than most women.  

While this is usually the time when it is "safe" to start telling people, I'm still not ready to say anything.  I have told Kevin that we can tell our family and friends after we hear the heartbeat.  I hope we both can make it til then...

Color Vibe 2013

I was really excited to participate in a color run in December.  I'd heard a lot about them and they looked so fun.  They're 5K runs but they are laid back so you can walk too.  I walk.  :)  I talked Kevin into going and a few people from work also wanted to do it to, so we ended up having a little group.  I even bought extra color packets for the dance party at the end of the race and Sally and I made tutus to wear.  It was a complete mess but it was so fun.  I can see why they are popular. 

Oh, and little did I know, I did this while pregnant.  ;) 

Cheers!

Before the race

Finish!

Work friends

You've got something on your nose...

Bump Diaries 1.11

I found my maternity bin!!!  I am so excited.  It was like getting a whole new wardrobe...for free!  I'm so glad that I have borderline hoarding tendencies and saved my "fat clothes".  I've had a belly for as long as I can remember and over the years I've gotten pretty good at working with it.  But when we lost all that weight the summer of 2012, I lost most of my belly.  My clothes became more fitted instead of the flowing, hippie stuff I always used to wear.  You see, I'm very boho at heart.  ;)  The clothes I put aside for a possible pregnancy were things I still liked to wear, they just no longer flattered my smaller size.  But they would totally work for a growing baby bump.  When I was going through my closet to get rid of the unflattering clothes, I tested each piece for maternity by stuffing a pillow under it.  The strategy seemed to work because everything I put aside looks really cute with my tiny bump now, and most of it will work for a few more months too.  I'll get to be the stylish prego lady I always wanted to be and I'll save money.  Doesn't get any better than that!

Symptoms pretty much that same as they have been.  Getting kinda nervous/ excited about being able to tell people soon.